


To be Human Again

by ballsy_devil



Series: War in Beauty; Beauty in War [2]
Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Cold Allura, Evil Shiro (Voltron), Keith (Voltron) is Bad at Feelings, Lance (Voltron) is a Mess, M/M, Mentioned Alfor (Voltron), Mentioned Zarkon (Voltron), Minor Alfor/Coran (Voltron), Overprotective Keith Kogane, Someone come slap Shiro before I do, Space Dad Coran (Voltron), Voltron need to heal themselves, and it will stay that way, courtesy for a reader who asked for it, former blue paladin, if you hadn't realized my favorite character is Coran, this is the story of lance healing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-20
Updated: 2020-10-20
Packaged: 2021-03-09 04:33:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,382
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27038776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ballsy_devil/pseuds/ballsy_devil
Summary: Being a soldier was easy; waking up everyday and killing a person- even if they were the enemy- was easy.But being human wasn't and being a boy from Cuba with ocean in his eyes wasn't easy.But he will heal (you will heal for you are strong, mighty and the great Blue Lion).
Relationships: Keith/Lance (Voltron)
Series: War in Beauty; Beauty in War [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1973356
Comments: 3
Kudos: 30





	To be Human Again

**Coran**

There was greatness and honor that came from being a Voltron member, which you knew very well, having watched two generations of Voltron. 

But everyone seemed to forget that they were still people that were able to bleed and cry and scream and...die.

Watching Blue's paladin reminded you of the former Blue Paladin, who had just as much light as the human boy with water in his eyes.

Your heart clutched, remembering melancholy memories as the sound of sword clashing rung in the background. 

Blatyz was so much like Lance that it sometimes hurt to look at him too long; every joke and prank that was made reminded you of Blatyz.

(and sometimes you'd turn around, expecting him to be laughing his butt off but there was no one there but a phantom ghost)

Like Lance, Blatyz had issues with the team, especially with the Black Paladin; you never knew what those issues were but you couldn't help but wonder if Blatyz knew what Zarkon was turning into. 

And you'd wonder if you just listened- if you weren't so enamored....

You remember mentioning Blatyz's change in behavior to Alfor, who only chuckled with fond amusement. 

"You worry too much about everyone especially him, Coran," he teased. You frown, huffing a bit. 

"He's just a baby compared to me and you and the other members," you argue," we should make sure he feels comfortable." Alfor sighed, shaking his head. 

"Unfortunately, we have no time to babysit, Coran," he huffs, getting a bit irritated, "I know not if your worry is a good thing or bad." You said nothing in retaliation, not wanting him to know he had hurt you. 

(but you were so close to each other like soulmates that you couldn't hide this feeling from him)

Sighing affectionately, he pulls you down to bed, immediately clinging onto you.

"If you still feel like this tomorrow, we'll talk to the team about it, ok?" he murmurs and you slightly nod, watching as sleep pulled him in and then you. 

If only you knew that there wouldn't be another day, maybe you'd have stayed awake. Maybe you'd have found Blatyz by yourself and talked to him. Maybe you'd have understand what was going on...

there were so many possibilities that could've happened but you wouldn't dwell on them...

Rushing toward the now dying body, you pulled Blatyz closer to you and felt just how skinny he was. 

"Please," you kept on saying but you didn't know what you were pleading for whether if it was for him to speak or live or cry or just be Blatyz again and _let this be a joke, please, Blatyz..._

Blatyz coughs, smiling weakly as you tried to keep him here with you- in the living because _you can't leave yet, Blatyz, you have so much to do, so many people to save, please...._

"Tell the team this was not their fault and it was my own selfish decisions." You never lost anyone that felt like your own child but it felt as if something died inside of you. 

You wouldn't- couldn't- leave the body or the training room, allowing his blood permeate your skin and pores because if you only listened to your guts...if only...

Alfor found you at some point but you couldn't remember anything about that day other than yelling at each members of Voltron because if this was Voltron, you want no part. 

"You are meant to protect the galaxy but you are not able to protect your own members?! What quiznaking sense does that make?!" You yell, finding sick satisfaction when Alfor sucks in his breath too quickly.

"Come on, Coran, you can't blame your.." Alfor reaches out for you cautiously like you were an enraged animal; you pull away, pressing Blatyz's body- _his dead body_ \- closer to you, hissing.

Alfor jolts before looking back at the other members. 

"It's best we leave him to mourn, Alfor, we have other business to attend," Zarkon inputs and a chill went down your spine on how cold he was like he was detached from this all. 

"Coran!" You jolt back to the present, startled by the princess' frown. 

(You didn't realize until now just how the princess sounded so much like her father and how you missed him until now, stuck in memories of the "Glory Days.")

Looking around, you noticed that Lance was once again bandaged from head to toe but none of the members made an inquiry.

As the meeting seemed to grow longer and the barbs harsher than ever, Lance seemed to shrink into himself and instead of crying or showing emotion, he sat motionless and took it all in.

History has a thing for repeating itself first with Blatyz and now with Lance. Unfortunately, you wouldn't let them take your child again. 

"Keith, my boy, I'm so glad you're back!-"

"Keith!" Shiro interjects, frowning at you before smiling wide and pulling Keith into a hug, "you've grown a lot!" 

The Red Paladin shrugs, searching for a familiar face and you could guess who's; you chuckled lightly, smiling to yourself. Keith's attraction to the Blue Paladin was undeniably cute. 

"Keith-" you start again, just to be cut off by another member.

"Please, Coran, if you have nothing to say, stay quiet," the princess hissed, "we are in the presence of guests." Angered, you glare at the princess, silencing anymore words she or anyone else may have. 

"Keith, I believe that you need to see Lance," you say calmly, walking away knowing that the Red Paladin would follow you even without turning back to see. 

You take him to the Red Lion, where the stench of blood filled your nose. 

"Is that-?" You nod jerkily, not trusting your voice at all.

"The Blue Paladin hasn't been the same since you left," you stated, trying to find a way to explain what he'd be looking at. The Red Paladin doesn't stay to listen, instead entering into the Red Lion. 

You stand there for a minute, stuck in a past that you couldn't fix but pushed into the future that you would fix at the cost of the end of Voltron. 

**Keith**

Your memory of your mom was few and far in between but the only one that stuck to you no matter what was of the memory of her leaving. 

Your father ran after her, crying- speaking with his words and his hands- pleading but your mother kept walking on, striding away from you and you wanted to hate her- to run after her- but all you could do was cry. 

And cry you did; you cried so hard that your mother stopped for a brief moment to look back at you, tears in her eyes. As if pulled by a rope, she cautiously walked toward you, her smiles watery. 

You reach out for her face, wanting to wipe away whatever was happening to your mother; you wanted your strong mother, who smiled at you confidently and gave you a knife as a plaything. 

("What you got there, Keithy?" your father asks, joking. 

"A stabby!" "NO!" )

Your father moved closer to the two of you, saying something that you couldn't understand; your mother just shook her head, crying openly as she touches your face. 

"...a boy," she says, one of the many words you knew, "...jus' a boy." Shaking her head, she pulled away- from you and your father- with those words repeating on her mouth over and over again. 

You could never understand what she meant by that- why she kept on repeating those words- but staring at Lance...you wondered if this was the same stab of pain your mother felt when she had to leave. 

You expected that out of anyone else in the team, Lance would stay the same and be your moral strength through this whole thing yet...

He stands so stoically not even the slightest wind could brush him aside yet he was so frail in your hands when he broke down, asking- begging for you to bring Lance back. 

"They killed me," he whimpers, clutching his heart, "t-they killed me." And all you could do was hush him over and pull him close and be with him because if you left..

(There would be no more Voltron- no more people hurting Lance. Just you and Lance...if he wanted it.) 

Somehow, you wonder how you never saw the signs before you left: of how they belittled Lance until he said nothing and kept his shoulders up and ready to run. Even Hunk- his best friend, for God's sake! -joined in the belittling, too. 

Sometimes, when at a debriefing, you just stare at Lance, taking in this new form and just how beautiful it was; yes, it was different and it wasn't Lance but you could see where "Lance the boy" was peeking out and it warmed your heart that you were able to do that. 

You- who had locked away all feelings and kept people away- were the one that was bringing the real Lance and-

"Lance!" Shiro shouts, startling Lance, which thus startled you, "this is not a whore house. Stop distracting, Keith!" You turn your head so quickly, it felt as if you got whiplash but you couldn't focus on the growing pain in you neck. 

Instead, you glare at your "leader"- this person that was supposed to be head of the team and lift you up when you were down, the person you called your brother- as anger flooded through your system. 

" _What did you just say?"_ you hiss, eyes narrowing; for a minute; Shiro looks a bit scared before he puts on a facade. 

"This has nothing to do with you, Keith," he says, flapping you away like a gnat, "I'm just telling Lance to get his shit together. You'd think that as a member of the team, he'd try-"

"Shut the fuck up!" The team jolted a little, shrinking back from you; the only who didn't move was Lance, who just stared at you, shaking his head. 

"But...Lance," Lance keeps shaking his head, smiling a bit wanly. "Don't" he mouths over and over again, "Don't." 

You slowly deflate, sitting back down and slowly- timidly- conversation starts all around you and you turn back to Lance, hoping once again to catch those little moments of him struggling to come back. 

(Your heart ached along with the Castle as they watched, stilled- no movement as to not scare away the ugly little duckling and its first moved closer to the ocean. )

You don't know how it started or who started it but before you left, the two of you would crawl into one of your beds and talk about anything and everything. Before he'd tell you stories about his family and the stupid hijinks their siblings would get into to or maybe the stupid shit he did in the Garrison. 

("There was once.." his laughters cut into his words as he giggles into your neck, making you shiver a bit, "there was one time where I...I poured hair dye in Iverson's shampoo and..." 

Lance bursts into peals, shaking like a leaf as you tried to hold back your laughters. 

"Holy shit, Lance are you the reason why his hair was purple for 2 weeks straight?!" you whisper; shrugging a bit, Lance wiggles his eyebrows before the two of you fall into your bed, giggling until you fell asleep.) 

You didn't know if he'd still want to do so but... 

Lofting the pillow at Lance's face, you watch as surprise floods his system. 

"Wanna talk?" He shrugs, softly smiling as he allows you to pull him into your room and for a minute, you could see those same blue ocean eyes that you fell for. 

( _If I could have a fraction of your smile, that would be enough,_ the mice teeter, _this would be enough._ ) 

Sometimes, you don't say anything and Lance rarely talked on most days- didn't hum or tap on the walls or anything that he'd used to do _before-_ rather yet the two of you basked in the warmth of a familiar body connected to a soul that you loved.

(Because even though the two of you were too stubborn and hard-headed to say anything, you knew and that was enough.) 

Other nights, Lance talked and talked about every and anything he could think of, just like he did _before._

He'd talk about anything that flew into his head like his family or the Garrison days or crazy things that happened while Keith was away.

" _Tengo hermana mayor, si? Y_ she's like really bossy and she's also at the Garrison and she knows you and I use to talk all about you, you know? Like, I'd tell how you were so pretty and..." the blue-eyed boy patters on, flushing every time he caught your eyes.

You smile, pulling him closer until you were nose to nose with each other. 

"I didn't know you used to idolize me," you murmur into his skin, nipping it; Lance makes a squeak in the back of his throat and you can't help but fall in love more. "Always thought you hated me really." 

"How could anyone hate _you?_ " he mutters, face still red, "You are the perfect person and everyone wants to be you.

The team would rather have one of you than have millions of me." His eyes dims and he pulls into himself, slowly breaking your heart. 

What did the team do to hurt this beautiful boy like this that he couldn't see how much you wanted him? How much you had to keep yourself from jumping on him and ravaging him?

"Lance, listen to me." The boy from Cuba stills, his eyes becomes still and hard- just like Shiro's when you found him in the Galran empire. Your heart melt and you press a fierce kiss on his forehead.

"I'd like to have thousands of you even if the team doesn't." and this was the closest thing to a confession as they come from and you hoped that he understand- _please understand, please understand, please understand, please..._

The crushing hug that Lance pulls you in is proof enough that while things weren't good now, they would get better. 

**Author's Note:**

> I was so tempted to put in the other members but then realized I really had nothing for them in this part. 
> 
> This is just Lance taking the first step in healing and unfortunately, the other team members wouldn't be making much of an impact on his his first step like Coran and Keith would


End file.
